ruby

For those of you who are new to the site, I thought it would be nice to introduce the family members. Those of you who are not so new to the site will likely learn some things too, so don't smash your computer just yet. There is way too much information to cover in just one day, so here is the information about "the kids." More to come tomorrow.

Maynard

Maynard, a female cat, was acquired by unconventional means. In 1999, she was living with a man who has been nicknamed “The Bad Cat Man.” Mutual friends of Pat and Fran and The Bad Cat Man had threatened to take Maynard away from The Bad Cat Man on numerous occasions if he did not start taking better care of the kitty. One day, the friends saw Maynard (an indoor cat) frolicking outdoors and took her. These friends asked Fran to take Maynard for a month until they could set up suitable placement for her. Fran obliged, and a month turned into 6 months, which turned into a year, which turned into 8 years. Pat and Fran consider Maynard their “first born.” She is quite large and in charge and, at times, has tipped the scale so far that could couldn’t even clean her own behind, requiring extra attention from Pat and Fran. If that doesn’t say love, I don’t know what does. Maynard loved being an only child, and she was NOT happy when Ruby came into the picture; Ruby and Maynard are mortal enemies. Maynard displays an extra abundance of patience and restraint around Greta that she has never displayed width anyone else. Maynard was named after the lead singer of Tool by The Bad Cat Man, who, consequently, was a tool. (It took him 4 days to notice that his cat was missing.) By conventional standards, Maynard is neither pretty nor friendly, but we think she’s wonderful.

Ruby

Ruby, also a female cat, is our “second born” and is a little bit of the black sheep of the family. She came from a litter of kittens from Pat’s best friend, Andy. Andy had originally brought Ruby to his mom, who begrudgingly took the cat (she is a “dog person”) and named her Holly. Shortly after Andy gave her to his mom, he went to Iraq. Before Andy left, we told his mom to let us know if there was anything we could do to help her while Andy was gone. About a month later, she emailed Pat saying something like, “Come pick up this damned cat!” A few days later we drove to Binghamton and back (about 6 hours round trip) one Saturday in a snowstorm to pick up little Ruby. The meeting of Ruby and Maynard did not go well, and relations are still strained. I swear that some day I will come home and find them spooning; I like to think they really do love each other deep down. Ruby is scared of all animals and humans and her own shadow. She is typically unaffectionate but will sometimes sit on Pat’s legs if they’re outstretched, and she will sometimes get in Fran’s lap and rub on Fran’s neck, which results in red, itchy welts on Fran’s neck. She is pretty but she is about as dumb as a box of rocks.

Greta

Greta was born on March 17, 2006 (St. Patrick’s day), so she’s like an instant party animal. She is a little over a year and a half old now. Greta can be a bit of a tough critic in that she doesn’t laugh or even smile unless she feels it is really deserved. Some things are inherently hilarious: being chased, “sneaking up” on mom and dad, and getting water sprayed in her face. She is also quite fickle and does not give affection freely. Greta loves dressing up, eating good food, doing just about anything outdoors, saying “no,” playing in water (eg, the bath tub, mud puddles, the cats’ water dishes), and anything having to do with animals. She also loves Elmo, bubbles, and dancing. She seems to have gotten her mother’s lack of patience and both her mother and father’s love of music. When listening to music, during the pause between songs, she says, “More, more, more,” while signing the word for more. Greta has a very funny sense of humor and is very pretty and very smart. She’s a triple threat.

For those of you who do know us should feel especially free to leave your additional observations about Maynard, Ruby, and Greta in the comments section.

Fran

I have an update for all of the Ruby fan(s) out there. [Waiting for it…waiting for it…crickets chirping…] Okay, so I know that there aren’t a ton of Ruby fans out there. She skittish, she bites, and she’s generally unpopular. If Andy M or his mom are reading this, they probably don’t appreciate it, but it’s true. See? Exhibit A.

Well, this punk had it coming, but there is more research that suggest that Ruby is unpopular. Take Exhibit B. You can’t deny two years of scientific research on kittenwar.com. But the thing is, she’s like gorgonzola in the sense that she grows on you. Anyway, the thing is that Ruby has been sick and she needs your support. Monday night, she threw up all night and into the morning. She has always been a bit of a puker, but this was way more than ever before. I took her to the vet, which was a long and painful experience for both of us. Ruby hates being touched anyway, so having her insides squeezed after being shoved in a tiny cat carrier and taken on a 25 minute car ride is not her idea of a good time. Ruby kept growling at the vet when she (the vet) was squeezing her (Ruby’s) stomach and pancreas, which the vet took to mean that Ruby is in a large amount of pain, and so she diagnosed Ruby with feline pancreatitis. Ruby definitely has some ulcers (I won’t get into the gory details here), so we got her some medicine to help soothe her tum and some mild prescription food. Ruby continued to be sick through yesterday morning, but she seems to be doing much better. The puking has stopped and she is eating some food and drinking water. She also seems generally peppy, which I think is probably the best indicator of her improving health.

Anyway, I realize many of you probably don’t care, but it has been kind of a big thing here, so I thought I’d let you all know, especially for those of you who do have a special place in your heart for Ruby (Amy, Lavery…my mom?).

In other news, we’re still just preparing for our trip. Pat cleaned his closet last night, which is probably the most exciting news in my mind. There was a bread maker in there! And a newpaper from November 19,2005! And get this: there was a floor in there!! Also in preparation for the trip, I’ve been making a mental list of all of the aliments I could get during our time in Florida, from most to least likely: sunburn, jelly fish / bee (of the killer and non-killer variety) / wasp sting, seabather’s eruption (sea lice), pseudomonas folliculitis (hot tub folliculitis), puss caterpillar envenomation, bed bugs, alligator bite. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Sounds like I’ll get off easy with just a sunburn.

In case you’re wondering what a puss caterpillar looks like, here you go. Cuddly, right?

Wrong! It’s actually covered with hollow spines that, when touched, inject venom into unsuspecting bug enthusiasts. I would never touch one of these creatures intentionally, but, knowing my luck, one will fall out of a tree and land on me.

Great.

Fran

Here are some updated photos of our children. Who do you think is better, Maynard or Ruby?

I’m not going to lie to you; I feel bad that it’s been so long since we’ve put up a new post. I will try my best to be informative, yet concise. Well, at least you can usually count on me being informative...

For the most part, things are going well with the new kitty, who we’ve decided to name Ruby. (Sorry fans of the name Venom. It just wasn’t practical). We’re happy to report that we took her to the vet last Monday and got her vaccines and tests done, and she is free of Feline Leukemia, so we got to introduce Ruby to Maynard. It went surprisingly well. There was a little growling, but that’s about it. I’m very proud of how mature Maynard is being about the new addition to our family. All was going well until Tuesday night. Pat came home from work to find Ruby suspended in air, hanging by her back paw!! She had somehow managed to get her foot stuck in a small space between our computer chair’s arm and back. We have no idea how long she was stuck like that, but it could have been up to nine hours! I was still at work when Pat called me, asking me what I thought he should do. After some deliberation, he decided to take Ruby into the vet to get her checked out. He didn’t think she had broken anything, but she was screaming and her foot was twice its normal size. They did a couple X-rays, and gave her a little something to sedate her and help with the pain. As it turned out, she had pulled a muscle and badly bruised her paw. She is already pretty much back to her old self. Between the two days of vet visits, Ruby cost us almost $350! Now we have to keep her.

As far as the Franny update goes, I am sick again. I don’t know what’s going on with me this year, but I’ve been sick four times just this season. I haven’t been doing anything different than usual – I’m not like, working at a day care center or anything. P.Reed, on the other hand, hasn’t been sick at all.

Erik T's Birthday Feb 2003

Despite my sickness, we had a great weekend. Friday night, we had a lovely dinner with Mike and Holly. Mike cooked an amazing meal, as always. We had some nice wine and sat in front of the fire, where I immediately fell asleep. Saturday, we celebrated Erik T’s birthday. We went to Dicky’s, where we played darts and harassed a hippy or two. As Pat will attest to, I hate dirty, rotten, filthy, stinky hippies. It’s one of the things that made him fall in love with me.

This week has just been more of the same, but there are a couple updates. One is that we got new cell phones. Check deez out. It’s fun to have the best phones out of all of our friends for once. Especially since we got ridiculed for years about our previous phones. The other is that I cashed in $75 worth of savings bonds and got a little over $360! Oh wait, let me just sign that right over to the vet.

Pat's Cell - (585) 770-0381
Fran's Cell - (585) 770-0416

-Fran

We picked up a new kitty yesterday. Maynard now has a little sister. My friend, Andy, gave his mother the cat for Christmas and she decided that she wasn't really into kittens, so we said we'd take her in on a trial basis (we need to make sure that our little baby Maynard can live with her).

Fran and I are trying to decide what to name her. We have come up with two good names: Ruby and Venom. Ruby seems like the more practical of the two names, and in sobriety, it is the obvious choice, but once we mix alcohol into the equation, we start leaning toward Venom. I can picture the look of horror on our vet's face when we tell her the cat's name is Venom.

Here are some pics of Ruby / Venom.

-Pat