Saga I

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Pat Breed. Pat was a mechanic who specialized in building monster trucks. He had his very own monster truck and he drove it all the time. He drove it through rain, sleet, and snow. He crushed cars, trucks, and mobile homes. All Pat ever wanted to do was crush things with his truck. This is how he spent all of this free time, until he saw her. Then his monster truck didn't seem as important.

Her name was Fran McDirthy. She was a retired basketball player who spent most of her free time building bombs and boobitraps. They met at a Survivalist's Convention in Charleston, West Virginia. Fran was giving a seminar on building small explosive devices. Pat was mesmerized by her technique and the way her hands moved. He decided that he had to meet her. After the show, he approached her and asked her to dinner. Fran, mistaking Pat for a Federal Agent, quickly maced the young lad. As Pat shrieked in horror, Fran realized that he was not who she thought he was. She felt horrible about jumping the gun and agreed to go to dinner with him.

They found a nice little place called Restaurant. They enjoyed a tasty batch of Eggplant Parmesan (for the mere fact that Pat was a vegetarian) and talked for hours. The two soon realized that they had a lot in common and that they really liked each other. Fran told Pat about bombs and guns, and Pat told Fran about exhaust systems and fuzzy dice.

After several hours of talk, the two were very tired. Pat gave her a lift home in his beautiful monster truck. Fran could not stop commenting on how nice of a truck it was. When they reached her house, they kissed good night and made plans to see each other in a couple of days. Pat thought about her all the way home. He was very happy that he met her. He was so happy that he didn't even crush anything on his way.

Several days later, Fran called him. He was overjoyed to talk to her, as she was to talk to him. They decided to go out to Restaurant for some more of that Eggplant Parm.

As Pat was driving to her house, had had a great idea. It was something that he thought would really impress her. He decided that he would crush her house with his truck! The closer he got to her house, the more excited he got. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face!

Just as Pat couldn't wait any longer, he got to her house. She was sitting outside on the lawn. This was the perfect opportunity! He stepped on the accelerator and blew right over the house, leveling it to the ground. Fran was very excited when she saw this. It impressed her immensely. Pat saw the look on her face, so he did the only thing that he could. He drove over the house again, this time in reverse.

Just then, a great idea popped into Fran's head. What better way to impress him then to blow up his truck? She pulled a rocket launcher out of her back pocket and aimed it at the beast. Pat jumped out just in time to see his beautiful monster truck go up in flames. The explosion was very big and pretty. Pat was very impressed by her gesture.

Then they went for a walk.

The End!