February 2009

I make your cards

File under: nada mucho


Pat's great-grandfather is turning 100 on St. Patrick's Day (holy cats!), and Pat's grandma asked me to make the invites for his party. I happily obliged. Here is the finished product.

birthday invite

I blurred out the details so you don't try to crash the swingin' centenarian's party. I wouldn't put it past pnf.com readers.

In person, the invite looks less like the scrolling Star Wars intro and more like, well, a normal rectangle. I shot this at a wacky angle, apparently. I'd better be careful, or people are going to start accusing me of being crafty!


We all just have to get in our Deloreans. Ready? Go!

File under: random

So last night I proudly announce to Pat, "Our 11-year dating anniversary is tomorrow!" I spent a few hours today thinking that it was indeed our anniversary until I looked at my phone and realized it was February 24th (the day *after* our anniversary), not February 23rd (the day *of* our anniversary). Oops, so today is Pat's and my 11 year and 1 day anniversary. I'm not one for dates. Many of my friends will vouch for this. I will say that I demand a steel full-body chainmail outfit in honor of the 11 years I put in with often tardy and always slovenly (but extremely caring, handsome, and smart) Pat Reed, who is a great baby daddy. (Seriously, sometimes he shames me as a parent.)
When I told Pat it was our anniversary (and subsequently the day after our anniversary), he said, "We will have to drink wine and eat cheese tonight." Collectively, drinking wine and eating cheese is something we do approximately 3 out of 7 evenings during an average week but just so happens to be one of my favorite things to do. Yay for wine and cheese!
Even more excitingly than the anniversary of Pat and me going to see Wedding Singer at the defunct Pittsford movie theater (I think there is a store there called Sweet and Sassy now???) and then going to the defunct Denny's in Pittsford (the new Mamasans), is that the days are getting NOTICABLY longer. I left work at 4:45 and drove straight home without running any errands, and when I got home it was still somewhat light out! For the first time in months, I didn't just stick my hand in the mailbox and shuffle it around feeling for the mail; I peeked in and could see exactly what mail was in there. Seriously, this may not seem like much, but it felt significant to me. There is an end in sight people. Spring is on its way!
That's about all I got, people.

Spawn Twin

File under: greta | nada mucho


My dad sent me the image that I rembered looking a lot like the picture we just took for Greta's birthday card. I think they are definitely quite similar, but it's not super uncanny or anything.

Li'l Shannon McCarthy meets Greta Bean

This above-left picture of me is from Easter 1980, so I was about four and a half. The above-right picture of Greta is from, um, about a week and a half ago, making her pert-near three years old. 

I posted this picture of me as my Facebook profile, and ond of my old classmates, Jennifer, asked, "How much do those invisible suitcases in your hands weigh?" Hilarious!


I hope you received my distress signals...

File under: nada mucho

Our Internet has been down for most of the day, and it has been seriously cramping my style. For one, we were supposed to go to some open houses today, and I went to get exact addresses and maps and whatnot, and I couldn't. We were due to meet our realtor and were at a loss. I vaguely knew the address, so we drove around looking for wifi and trying to get directions on our phones, iPod Touch, etc. No luck because all of the internets were being jerks. We were wicked late, finally got our realtor's number, made it to the first place, yadda, yadda, yadda. And between that first attempt and now, when it finally started working, I thought about using the Internet only 5,000 times, give or take. I am addicted to the Internet. This is not news. How do I know? Well, that is somewhat subjective, but here is one possible test.
Test: How do you find out what the weather is in your neighborhood right at that moment?
Answer A: Open the door and step outside.
Answer B: Turn on the weather channel or news.
Answer C: Open the paper.
Answer D: The Internet, duh.
If you answered anything but D, you are probably not highly addicted to the Internet. If you answered D, and the Internet was a person, you would probably long to give him/her a hug, and then you would probably start stalking him/her, finding out what restaurants he/she likes to go to and then casually showing up; you might even make a shrine to him/her in your creepy red-carpeted attic.
Okay, it is clear I'm rambling. I just missed you so, Internet. Don't ever leave me again. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Birthday Invite Spoiler

File under: greta

*Spoiler Alert*

Okay, it's only a spoiler for the handful of people who don't live in the ROC and are lucky enough to be receiving a highly anticipated and sought-after invite to Greta's 3rd birthday party. Time is of the essence, though, and I'm in a postin' mood.


Birthday card frontsies


Insidesies of Greta's invite

The top picture, if my memory serves me, looks strikingly like a picture of me from when I was five or so, wearing an Easter dress and pigtails, making a similar expression. Once I get a copy of it (unless it is not as similar as I thought it was), I will post a side-by-side comparison.


Diane Keaton is a model tooth-bearing citizen

File under: greta | nada mucho


So, Greta brings home probably as many art projects as the next toddler in day care, and I am willing to admit that some are, well, less than spectacular. And this is coming from the girl's mom. True, I was a studio art major in college, but it doesn't take a BS in art to know that the artwork is less than spectacular. (I always think of this when something particularly crappy comes home.) Anyway, it kind of depends on the teacher, and it's obvious that some are more into art projects than others. When Greta started in her current classroom in September, it was clear her teachers were into other things. Don't get me wrong - they are good things - like teaching lots of songs, working on manners, good stuff like that. But the blue pen on random old dot matrix paper with premade puffy styrofoam cutouts glued on was not exactly worthy of hanging on the fridge. A couple months ago a new teacher moved into the room, and the artwork has greatly improved, which is fun to see. We just got one home yesterday, though, that made us laugh.

Diane Keaton has great chompers.

It sort of helps to know that February is National Children's Dental Health Month, but I just randomly knew that, I'm actually not sure the two things are related. For my own sanity, however, I choose to believe they are.

In summation, any artwork involving Diane Keaton is a-okay with me.


Happy Singles Awareness Day

File under: weekend update

We started the day by Greta constructing a candy necklace. It was the first time I saw someone really rock the candy necklace since college.

Here she is putting the pieces on the string.

The making of a candy necklace

And here she is modeling the finished product.

Candy necklaces rock

Our main event today was a photo shoot (featuring multiple wardrobe changes!) for Greta's birthday card invite. (No premade Disney princesses invite for us.) We got our shot, which is a relief. The last two years it was multiple attemps, which were all akin to pulling teeth, to get something acceptable.

I won't show the winner from today's photo shoot just yet, but I thought I'd show a few of the "misses."

Here is Greta preparing for the shoot with a little help from a stage mom named Fran.

Stage mom REPRESENT!

This one really sums up her energy.

Energizer Greta

I actually snorted when I saw this one. I call it, "These pretzels are making me thirsty." Well, more appropriately, "These M&Ms Mom is bribing me with are making me thirsty."

Show me serious.

Happy V-day. Hope it wasn't at all sucky. Or if it was sucky, I hope it was at least not super sucky.


St. Valentinosaurus

File under: nada mucho

Here's what Greta will be giving her teachers tomorrow. Not too shabby, right?? I was always a suck-up, and now I'm a suck-up via proxy.

You warm my heart

We cut out hearts, glued dinosaur figurines onto them, and wrote corny messages. Greta turned them into a dino-valentine choo-choo.

You're the best Valentine in 65 million years

This Valentinosaurus looks like he might want to go to a dermatologist. It looks like he might have melanoma on his head. Perhaps that's what caused dinosaurs to become extinct: skin cancer!

Be my valentinosaurus


Hey, at least it's new content

File under: Bullets | quick update

Quick update:

  • I am going to see editors from The Onion speak tonight with a couple of Pat's library buddies (who are crossing into territory where I can probably simply refer to them as "my friends," but I don't want to be bold). Anyway, I can't wait.
  • I joined a book club. This is very unlike me. I'm not a joiner. However, a good friend of mine asked me if I was interested, and I started responding to her about how I'm not a "book club kind of person" and how I work through most lunches and don't sit down in the evening usually until after 9 PM and yadda, yadda, yadda. As I was typing it to her, it seemed kind of sad because, really, I'm too busy to read one book a month and get together with a group a couple hours a month to have adult time? Sort of, yeah, but I need to make some time for myself (and I can probably just spend less time trolling Facebook and the rest of the Internets every night. Hello!) And usually my rationale for not joining a book club is that I want to read what I want to read, not what someone else decides I should read, but first of all, I'm not reading what I want to read, so some motivation would be good (even if it's not something I would otherwise choose), and come to think of it I actually do like people telling me what to read. I loved school and assignments. So there you go.
  • Greta has brought manipulation to a new level. A while back she started being super whiney. Even when she needed a napkin, for example, she would just go from the thought of I need a napkin to then crying almost incomprehensibly, "I need a napkin!" as if she had asked sweetly five times in a row and we screamed NO and threatened to throw her stuffed monkey, Georgie, into the Genesee river. We have been super diligent about telling her she needs to ask nicely and then not giving her whatever she wants until she does just that. It has been a slightly painful process, but I'll be damned if I have a whiney kid. We seem to have turned a corner, recently, which is great, but I have visions of future manipulation. The other day, as we were leaving day care, another mom mentioned something about getting together Friday and getting pizza. When she did, Greta gently put her hands on my cheeks and said in the sweetest little voice, "Momma, please can we get some pizza for dinner tonight?" I was powerless to say no. At this point I think she deserves the positive reinforcement, but I'm just saying she's so darned cute it could get dicey.
  • With Greta's recent bout of sweetness, I recently had this actual thought go through my mind: If we could start at this age and I could be guaranteed they were all as sweet as Greta, I would have five kids. Now, this is notable because, well, I'm actually not really a "kid person" per se and I've never really seriously considered having more than one child (other than this two-span day a while back, but then I squashed that pretty quickly). Anyway, I had this thought, and then later that same day Greta was such a handful my thought quickly changed to thinking I would never have five of these devil children. Yeah, I'm fickle like that.
  • I'm excited for the $8,000 tax credit for home buyers in the stimulus plan. I wish it ended up being the full proposed $15,000 amount, but 8K is way better than a kick in the pants. Looks like we will definitely be moving this year!
  • Greta and I were working on her Valentine's last night and this morning, and we're having lots of fun (unlike the Crafting Debacle of Thanksgiving '08). I'm really happy with how they turned out, and I'll be sure to post pictures. (Hint: they involve plastic dinosaurs and say things like, "You're the triceratops!") Oozes cute.

If anyone has read this monstrosity in full you're a better person than I.

Out with the old, in with the only what we need (or really, really want)

File under: weekend update

Blerg! I just wrote something and accidentally deleted it. I haven't done that since, like, 2003.
Anyway, so, this weekend our favorite realtor in the world, Mary, came over. We're in the beginning stages of thinking about moving, so Mary talked to us about what we're looking for, what the order of operations is for buying and selling, and what we should focus on to get our house ready to show/sell. I'm proud of what we've done to the house in the last almost five years, and I am also proud of what I've done to purge, clean, and organize in the last month, but the attic, basement, and a couple closets have gotten very cluttered. It was more than mildly humiliating to show those parts of the house to Mary (and Pat flat out refused to open the door to his clothes closet!), but it's deep embarrassment like that we need to motivate  us. Hey, whatever works. As of now, the guts of Pat's closet are in the hallway, an organizer has been installed in the closet, and there is half a garbage bag filled with his clothes for Goodwill. (Dude is getting better, but it is probably going to take an intervention to get him to part with as many things as he should. But the joy on his face when he found this one baby-shit brown velour shirt he's had longer than me was pretty priceless; he loves that shirt.) And I started cleaning the basement today. The biggest issue down there (aside from our own clutter and massive amounts of cobwebs and remnants of home-improvement projects of yore), is that every previous owner felt the need to keep every piece of scrap wood, nail, door knob, partially used roll of tape, paint can...you get the picture. There is just SO MUCH crap tucked away. I threw out as much as would fit in our huge city garbage can, and I was able to recycle quite a bit too. As if you care about the minutia of our cleaning...sorry.
I had a ridiculous thought this afternoon: What if we get everything all organized? Then what? Will we get bored? Perhaps we would have to just start sitting around and watching TV like normal people, in our perfectly tidy house. I quickly realized what an unrealistic thought that was. But if there is ever a moment that I do get everything in a state that I am actually content with, I will definitely play some Polyphonic Spree or some other uplifting music and spin around the house, perhaps on the ugly red shag carpet in our attic, pretending I'm in some movie about great triumph - at least by myself, for a minute or two or five.
Oh, the other thought I had was this: What if we finally get everything that we should have done ages ago done in an effort to get the house ready for moving, and then I decide I love the house too much to move? This was another very unrealistic thought, but a gal has got to think about something when she's throwing out multiple smoke detectors that probably haven't worked since 1982 and mismatched tile samples.
Okay, one more thing about cleaning, I swear. So when I was cleaning in the basement, I found a dusty VHS tape and I got super freaked out. I was all, "Oh my God, what if it's a tape of someone being murdered in the house???" I was ruminating about it for a couple hours before I finally put it in the VCR (yes, we still have a VCR). So, what do you think it was?
A) snuff film
B) snuff film
C) snuff film
D) one of our own tapes of the defunked Oxygen network show Campus Ladies
Okay, it was choice D. Phew! Man, we loved that show.
Um, what else? Oh! The editors and staff from the Onion are coming to U of R on Thursday. I am hoping to go, but I, uh, don't have anyone to go with me. Anyone want to go?