February 2005

2005-02-05 17:34:02

File under: Uncategorized

Last night, the Franimal and I went to Brio for our friend Corey’s birthday. It was a surprise planned by Corey’s best lady, Lavery. Unfortunately, Fran and I arrived a few minutes after the guest of honor, so we where not able to take part in the actual surprising. After dinner, Fran and I stopped home so we could get supplies for her patented drink, the Franimakaze. Then, we went over to Corey and Lavery’s house to continue the celebration. I met a lot of new people. One young lady even invited me to join her Celtic band when she heard that I own a guitar, a cello, and a uke. I didn’t even have to audition. I must just posses the look to complete the band.

Oh, I just remembered. My new Puma Easy Riders arrived yesterday and they are dope. It’s still a little icy out, so I haven’t had a chance to open up into a full-on sprint. My insurance agent advised me that he may have to make a premium increase if I continue to wear such fast shoes.

We spent some time at the Home Depot this afternoon and we decided that we hate it there, and that we will soon be choosing a new home-improvement store. It just seems to be so poorly laid out. I can never find someone to help us, and it is more expensive than Chase Pitkin and Lowes. I don’t know what I ever saw in that place. We have some gift cards that we need to use up and then that place is dead to us.

Tonight, Fran and I are going to Chris and Amy’s for dinner. After that, we’ll probably hang out and watch a movie, drink beers, huff gas, kill a hobo, and call it a night. I’m outy like your belly button.

-Pat

2005-02-04 14:49:54

File under: Uncategorized

Partial Differentiation? Directional Derivatives? The Hessian Matrix? I think I may be in a little over my head in my math class. I’m going to have to spend some time this weekend figuring out what’s what. The frustrating part is, I never see myself using any of this math. Software programs like JMP, Matlab, and Excel can do all of these calculations so Pat Reed don't gotta.

Here's some math that makes sense.






Today at lunch, a few people at my table were talking about how they hate bananas. One girl in particular had a passionate hatred for bananas. I’ve never heard of such a thing. It reminded me of the guy on Jackass: the Movie who hates yellow mustard. I’m going to start throwing banana slices at my classmates' asses to see if I can get anyone to freak out like Mustard Man. It made me think about all of the crazy phobias out there and how many of them have an official name. I found hundreds of them on the InterNut. Here are some of my favorites:

  • ambulophobia – walking
  • anablephobia - looking up
  • arachibutyrophobia - peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
  • aulophobia – flutes
  • barophobia – gravity
  • Bolshephobia – Bolsheviks
  • caligynephobia - beautiful women
  • chrometophobia – money
  • chromophobia – colors
  • coulrophobia – clowns
  • defecaloesiophobia - painful bowel movements
  • dutchphobia - the Dutch
  • geniophobia – chins
  • lutraphobia – otters
  • ommetaphobia – eyes
  • panophobia – everything
  • rhabdophobia - being severely punished or beaten by a rod

People are strange. There are three things that I love more than bananas:

1. Frances

2. Painful bowel movements

3. Being severely beaten with a rod





We’ve got some fun planned for the weekend, so Fran won’t be able to write another blog about how we stayed home and how boring we are. I’m even going to try to take some pics to prove it. Tonight might be the night that I end up with my underwear on my head. The weather is downright delightful (warm as a witches +i+), and I’ve heard good things about the forecast. Perfect weather for underwear hats...

-Pat

It's Day Two, This is Brand New

File under: Uncategorized

The comment section has been riddled with accusations that I am not going to follow through with the blog-mittment that I made to all of you. Don't fret; I have every intention of keeping my word. If I am successful, and I am pretty confident that I will be, February could be the most densely blogged month in the history of pnf.com. I’m expecting that readership will increase tenfold. By the end of the week, this blog will have so many banner advertisements on it, it will be rendered unreadable.

Ashton Rocks

Getting back on topic, most of you know that Fran and I are big proponents of Netflix. They just released a new "Friends Feature" on their site. This feature gives you the ability to see your friends' movie ratings and to make recommendations to one another. This just in; Erik T loves chick flicks more than anything on the planet. I thought maybe I had some ethical obligation to keep his favorite movies confidential, but it has been eating away at me. I just have to let it out.

When Harry Met Sally
Erik Loves Him Kitty






Steel Magnolias (He liked this one almost as much as he likes tucking his penis between his legs and looking in the mirror.)
Erik Loves Him Kitty






How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Erik Loves Him Kitty






I’ll leave you with that for right now. I’ll see you right back here tomorrow on the same great channel. I’ll be in math hell from 9:30AM – 12:00PM, but I’ll squeeze another blog in somewhere between being micromanaged and quitin’ time. Keep your chin up and suck in that gut.

-Pat

Everybody Says She's Looking Good... And The Lady Knows It's Understood... Strutter

File under: Uncategorized

A lot of people have been demanding more Pistol Pat Reed on this website, so I’m going make their biggest dreams come true. I’m vowing to update the site every day for the next week, just to make up for my three-week sabbatical. Here’s just a hint of what you can expect over the next week.

The old lady and I have been continuing on with the home improvements. The floor is almost done. We could finish it tonight, which brings me to a dilemma. A co-worker invited us to see Eraserhead at the Dryden tonight at 8 pm. On one hand, those MFing floors could be done and we could cross them off the to-do list, but on the other, we could see a classic movie on the big screen. The movie runs tonight only. Since I have never seen this movie, I am going to have to ask for some input. Should I stay or should I go?

Here's another be-floor and after shot of that biatch.












I just bought some fast new kicks on ebay. They are like the ones on the left, except they are gray instead of white. And yes, they are new, because I’m not in the business of buying other people’s foot fungus. And yes, I will be accepting racing challenges as long as they are submitted in writing and as long as you provide an indoor track, because you gots to have proper documentation and chicks don’t dig dudes with dirty shoes.

To change the topic one more time, I have been thinking of joining BMG Music Service to get some fresh music over at the pad. I need to come up with a list of six albums that I want to get. Any suggestions? So far all I have is:

  • Kiss – Kiss (because I need to hear Strutter)
  • Wilco – TBD (Help me out GF)
  • Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds - No More Shall We Part

-Pat