September 2004

2004-09-30 10:42:02

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A barrel of monkeys and a barrel of dolls

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This weekend was chock full o' fun. Friday night, Cima, Amy, and Bob D came over. We drank some margaritas, and watched the Mary Kay Letourneau story on 20/20 and The Best of Insomniac, Vol. 2. Sticking with my recent tradition, I was asleep on the couch by midnight. I'm such an old lady.

Saturday started off with the grossest breakfast/meal I've ever had. We went to James Brown's, but there was a line out the door. I suggested the East Ave. diner, having been there and at least somewhat enjoyed it. We walked in and it smelled like ass, and the menus looked like they had been used to line kitty litter boxes. I said, "Let's get out of here." Pat said, "Do you have another place in mind?" I said, "No..." and Pat said, "We're staying." Anyway, it was super gross. Don't go there. After breakfast, Pat did housework while I took a two hour nap to sleep off the awful breakfast. Later on, we watched Blow, the best drug movie ever. Saturday night, we met up with some friend at Mex to celebrate Ellen's birthday. It was the first time Pat and I had been there in quite some time, and we really enjoyed hanging out there with everyone. After a while, we ended up at Whiskey and then, of course, the BOD. The BOD was about the worst I'd ever seen it, but mildly amusing, nonetheless.

Sunday, Pat and I made our weekly trip to Home Depot for fun stuff like rakes and spackle. Pat decided that he needed to go back on Atkin's, so we got a bunch of Atkin's-approved foods. I thought that Pat's last meal before he went on his diet should be a fun one, and I got the idea to make garbage plates at home! We got all the fixin's and called Chris and Amy over. They brought over a grape pie they got from their trip to Naples, NY. Needless to say, we laced into those garbage plates and that pie. I'd guess that I'm working on about a two month food baby right now (well, I'm just barely showing).

Oh, and did anyone hear this story about Ronnie James Dio and the garden gnome? WTF??


2004-09-22 19:21:11

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I thought for a change of pace I would share something about myself that you might not know. I am a germaphobe. I'm not all What About Bob, but handrails and door handles do creep me out a little. This phobia started at Kojak. Over the past seven years, I have seen countless grown men walk out of the bathroom without washing their hands. A handful of these sans washers came out of the stall, implying to me that they are either extremely pee-shy or just took a big, steaming, monster deuce.

Germ phobic things that I do:

  1. After washing my hands, I hold on to the paper towel and use it to open the bathroom door. I think this may be common practice, because there is often a waste paper basket right outside of the bathroom. A couple of weeks ago, I used the bathroom just before lunch, and in a foolish stooper, I threw my paper towel away before letting myself out of the bathroom. I tried to open the door with one finger in an attempt to minimize skin-on-handle contact. I got the door about half-way open when I heard a pop and felt a sharp pain in my finger. I sprained my ring finger, and it is still sore to this day. I made a "note to self" to use two fingers if the situation should arise again.
  2. I never, no matter how hungry I am, eat out of one of the communal pretzel jars found in many of the Kojak conference rooms. Some kind person spent their hard-earned money at Sam's Club with intentions of making people's lives a little brighter. In reality, it sits on the table in front of me like a little germ-infested canister of temptation, and Johnny Craphand eats from it to his heart's content.
  3. When I buy coffee at a coffee shop, I always put my lid down on a napkin while adding my cream and sugar. In most places, the fixin's bar is also the garbage can. Anyone who doesn't take this precaution may as well eat garbage.
  4. If I drop a french fry on the table at a restaurant, I let it go. I've seen those dirty-ass wash clothes that they clean those tables with. I puke in my mouth every time I see a parent feeding a baby right off a table.

Fran thinks I’m crazy, because not only am I a germaphobe, but I am a slob. It may sound like quite a juxtaposition, but to me it makes sense. My own germs don’t bother me. It’s other peoples germs that I have a problem with.


I got nothin’

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Okay, so this weekend was probably the least-eventful weekend I’ve had since freshman year in high school. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing. It was just pretty dull.

The weekend started off promising. We went out to Edibles for dinner with Rebecca. We had heard nothing but good reviews, so we were all excited to try anything edible they had to offer. Our experience was decent, but nothing to write home about. I got the lobster ravioli, and I’m still unconvinced there was actual lobster in the ravioli. I probably should have looked closer at the menu. Maybe it was really “Lobstar Ravioli*.”

*Includes no actual lobster; perfect for people with allergies to shellfish.

It was great catching up with Rebecca though. She started a new job and she’s all busy hanging out with Henry Winkler (I'm not even joking - I mean, I'm not saying he can get her a part on Waterboy 2, but still...) and her new, fancy friends.

So, Friday night, I was in bed by midnight, I think. Saturday, Pat and I took a trip to Home Depot. We just picked up some paint samples and other necessities. Oh, one interesting thing happened Saturday. For some reason, Pat decided we should go to the Home Depot in Greece. That’s right, we went to the West siiiiiide. After Home Depot, I became ravenously hungry, and I made Pat stop at the first place we saw, a hots place called Hot to Trot. It really lived up to its name. Not only did they have a great garbage plate, but they also provided entertainment, which included a catfight between a customer and some employees who went to high school together. Oh, the West side.

Saturday night we did nothing. We couldn’t really think of anything to do, so we just hung out at home and watched TV. I fell asleep on the couch with a cider in my hand by midnight.

Sunday, we had plans to go to some Art Walk festival thingy (in our new neighborhood) with Kevin and Lara. We walked around for a little bit, but it really small and mostly geared for little kids I think, so we went home and drank margaritas, like any sensible people would do. Sunday night we watched the new show Family Bonds on HBO. If you can, you should really check it out. Good times.


2004-09-17 14:02:16

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Our yard is pretty small. Fran and I like this because we are pretty lazy and don’t want to spend a lot of time out there. Unfortunately, the previous owners left us quite a bit of work to do to get things in a copasetic shape. It seems the last several owners have used the area behind the garage to dispose of rocks, dirt, tree limbs, and boards. They also decided to build a huge, raised planter/Zen rock garden, complete with a tree branch trellis and gate, across the middle of the driveway. It looked pretty cool, but it rendered our precious two-car garage useless.

With summer coming to an end, we needed to get to work on dismantling the Zen garden. The problem is, we didn’t even know where to start. Enter Dean "The Machine" B. Dean is our friend Amy’s father. Amy and Chris also helped out a lot (yeah, believe it or not, Cima). In five hours, we tore the entire Zen garden out, trimmed some trees, and cleared out a good portion of the mess behind the garage.

I wish we had a good picture of the monstrosity, but this is the best we have. It was way worse then it looks in the picture.

In other news, we just got our security deposit back. We have always had good relations with our landlord; he was constantly telling us how we were his favorite tenants. This is fine and dandy, but you never know how much landlors really mean that shiz until you move out and get (or attempt to get) your deposit back. Not only did our old landlord refund the entire deposit, but he wrote us a nice thank you note and enclosed a $100 Home Depot gift card. We're rich, Biatch!


2004-09-15 17:25:24

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We're big time now. We even have our our cartoon. Thanks goes out to V Murder for this one.


2004-09-10 11:37:13

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For those of you who enjoy vigilante justice as much as I do, here's an interesting news story from

The only thing I would have done differently than this lady, is I would have gone to the dude's house and announced a "citizen's arrest," and then I would have called John Walsh from America's Most Wanted, to let him know I had the perp.

Perhaps I've had too much coffee this afternoon...



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We had a very gluttonous weekend directly corresponding to the amount of Labor Day barbeques we went to, our trip to the Rochester Public Market, and Pat’s new 100% usage policy in our new home. To explain the new 100% usage policy is quite simple. It just means every food item brought into our house must be eaten rather than thrown out. We were discussing the new policy over at Food Mike and Ian’s, and apparently, we’re not the only ones who have attempted the 100% usage policy. They have a similar policy in their place. Ian even came up with a cute slogan for it; “Eat it Up.” Pat and I like it so much, we’re totally going to rip him off. If we get all fat, you’ll know why.

Friday night, we went over to Cima’s to hang out on the porch for a bit. Amy and I had good intentions of going dancing, until I realized I had misplaced my license. I looked around for it for a while and realized it was definitely not going to surface anytime that night. No fear - I’m a licensed driver again. When I got to work Tuesday morning, my license was sitting on my keyboard; some kind citizen had placed it there for me. In lieu of dancing, we sat around on the porch some more, thought about calling child-protect services on Chris’ neighbors across the street (Their toddler was running loose in a diaper, after midnight, coming dangerously close to the road on several occasions. They would have put the kid to bed earlier, but then they’d have to set their beer down), oh and of course, we followed the night up with hotdogs.

Saturday, we headed to the Public Market with Chris and Amy. Pat and I have been to the Market a handful of times, but we had never really bought much before. We usually just kind of walk around in a daze and try not to get bumped into too much. For those of you who have never been, it’s sort of 3rd-World Country-esque. Since Chris and Amy were there to lead the way, we actually bought quite a bit of fruits and veggies, and even some baked goods from some Amish kids. Hardcore fans of the Market won’t appreciate me saying this, but I’d just rather shop at Wegman’s. After that, we went to James Brown’s (best Rochester diner) and enjoyed some delicious food and sassy service. Later that night, we had Mexican food and the most delicious homemade margaritas ever. I don’t want to toot my own horn too much, so I’ll let Chris do it for me in the comments section.

Shuttlecock around the clockSunday, we went over to Amy’s parent’s house to swim and play badminton, and then we went to Food Mike and Ian’s for a BBQ. Editor’s note: I am not a good speller; I’ll admit it to anyone. I’d just like to say, for the record, that until I just ran spell check, I always thought it was "badmitton," not "badminton." I feel so disillusioned. Anyhoo, it was a great day and we really got to enjoy the rare good weather.

Monday, we went to a BBQ at our realtor’s house. It was kind of like a customer appreciation thing. It was nice to see her again and we met some cool people there. Our realtor’s step-daughter-in-law-to-be and I have a lot in common – it was kind of freaky. Oh yeah, and we bought new furniture from Value City. We had looked at a lot of furniture at a lot of places, and we decided to go with the very generic, khaki, shabby sheik stuff that everybody and their brother have. To those of you who are thinking, “Oh damn, what’s going to happen to Pat and Fran’s super fly orange furniture??”, there’s no need to fret. We’ll be keeping that around for at least a little while longer. We have a family room and living room, thus we need to fill more rooms that we had to before.

In conclusion, we don’t have any big plans this weekend. I’d like to make some more progress around the house, and that’s about it.


Oh, Dang!

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I really like the new Mentos advertisement.


I'm Rich, Biatch

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I’m back from another one of my long bloggin’ sabbaticals. It has been about a month (with the exception of some beach vBall pics) since my last update. I really couldn’t think of any good excuses as to why I haven’t updated in so long. I was going lie, but I figured that Fran would roll over on me and expose me as a fraud.

Things have been good at the Kojak. I was accepted into a mentoring program. It's called the Image Science Career Development Program (ISCD). Every year Kojak selects 15-25 students to take part in the program. Over the next 2 years I am going to spend 25% of my work time in the classroom learning from Kodak experts and professors from local universities. This past week, I spent 2 days of team building out in the woods, where I got to know my new classmates. There were a lot of really cool people. It was nice to get away from the Rich, Old, Fat, Complain’n Bastard’s Club and spend some time with enthusiastic, optimistic, young people. The majority of my classmates are just out of college, so naturally I was worried that I would look like the "old guy," but I think I fit in just fine. Fran got to meet a lot of my classmates yesterday at the ISCD summer picnic. In a matter of days, I made a crap-load of new friends. This has left me in a position where I have to “Right Size” some peeps. I have elected to do this via email. If you receive an email with the subject, “I unfriend you,” then that will be it for us. I hope those impacted by the “Right Sizing” will understand.

I had to take the DiSC Personality Test as part of my homework for class. I hadn’t taken a personality test in quite a while. The DiSC method breaks personality traits down into four categories. The categories are D = Dominance, I = Influence, C = Conscientiousness, and S = Steadiness. I have to work on my dominance. I am fairly well rounded in the other categories. My personality profile is called "The Practitioner."