June 2004

A book review of The Catcher in the Rye, written by Patrick Reed

File under: Uncategorized

Reviewing the classics
The Catcher in the Rye, by J D Salinger, is narrated by a 17-year-old punk ass named Holden Caulfield. Holden is not specific about his location while he's telling the story, but it is apparent that he is undergoing treatment for some sort of mental breakdown. The events that he narrates take place shortly before Christmas the previous year.

Holden starts his story at Pencey Prep School in Agerstown, Pennsylvania. He has just been kicked out for not applying himself in his classes. If he was my kid, I would have to thoroughly beat his ass, but that is beside the point. In an attempt to deal with his failure, he leaves school a few days prior to the end of the term. Holden goes to New York City to take a vacation before returning to his parents' inevitable wrath. He spends the next few days in NYC, struggling with bouts of unexplained depression, impulsive spending, and physical exhaustion.

In my opinion, Salinger is trying to illustrate that Holden’s mental and physical breakdown is mainly due to his uncanny inability to score with the ladies, and the built up sexual frustration caused by that inability. This is that age-old theory that men simply need sex and if they do not get it on a regular basis, they will become ill and eventually die. It made sense in the 1950s and it makes sense now.

There are several points in the book where I really thought Holden was going to score, and inevitably live a healthy happy life, but he just couldn’t close the deal. On the train from Pency Prep to NYC, Holden meets the milfalicous mother of one of his former classmates. You can tell that she is interested in making a man out of him, but Holden isn’t reading the body language correctly. He unsuccessfully tries, on two separate occasions, to hook up with prostitutes. The most disturbing display of his lack of game is seen when he interacts with a young lady named Sally Hayes. Sally is one of those hot, but annoying chicks. Holden cannot just put on a happy face and play the game. He has to tell her exactly how annoyed he is with her. If he was a friend of mine, I would rake that neck of his. That chick was a sure thing.

At the end of the book, Holden makes a conscience decision to be accepting of the world (and people in general). He matures as a person and pledges to get well. I believe that this means he will lower his standards and focus more of his energy on fat chicks.

-Patrick Mitchell Reed III


File under: Uncategorized

Howard Stern's radio show is coming back to Rochester, July 19th, on the Zone!!!! I'm so unbelievably excited.

We're so happy Howard Stern's back on the air!!


Anyone interested?

File under: Uncategorized

I'm thinking about taking a self-defense class, just for kicks (no pun intended). I was wondering if any local people would be interested in taking it with me. Here's the info I got from a co-worker:

Next month, United Martial Arts Center will be beginning its latest session of a wonderful self-defense seminar. The course is geared mainly toward women (although men are more than welcome), and focuses on personal protection, fear management, and physical defense techniques. The instructor (who is also a close friend of mine) is extremely effective at teaching practical, real-world methods for avoiding (and, if necessary, getting out of) potentially life-threatening situations. He is truly passionate about helping others learn to protect themselves. Best of all, the majority of the seminar is hands-on: you're actually practicing the techniques, not just watching someone stand in front of a room.

This seminar, which is called Metaphor, runs for five weeks from July to August, and is endorsed by the Monroe County Sheriff's Department. If you are at all interested at learning how to defend yourself when confronted with physical violence, I strongly encourage you to check out this course.

Metaphor self-defense seminar

Wednesday evenings, from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m.

Running from July 21st to August 18th

United Martial Arts Center (UMAC)

1780 Monroe Avenue

Rochester, NY 14618

Phone: 585-461-1070

Instructor: Parker Maurer

Cost: $40.00

Checks made payable to Parker Maurer (payment due by July 16th)


2004-06-26 08:22:22

File under: Uncategorized

Last night, I got a glimpse into what life will probably be like once Pat and I move and become responsible citizens. We actually...stayed in last night! I really can't remember the last time we did that on a weekend night. It's kinda crazy. We made dinner and watched a lot of good TV. We watched all those cool investigative news shows, David Letterman, and Conan O'Brien. It was great; we both had lots o' fun.

Our friends Tim and Carrie got married in Vegas back in March, and today they're having their reception, which should be a good time. I'm planning on stuffing myself with barbeque. Tonight, we're going to another one of Cheryl and April's theme parties. The theme for tonight's party is hoe down. You can either dress up as a cowboy/cowgirl or...eh-hem...a straight-up ho. I'll finally get to bust out my "cheese up hos down" ink. Nice.


2004-06-23 16:45:00

File under: Uncategorized

Unlike Pat's company, who tells their employees weeks in advance that they may or may not get laid off, my company goes for it sniper style. Personally, that's my preference, but it's still not a fun thing. Monday and Tuesday of this week, Special K did just that. Unfortunately, a bunch of my best work friends got the boot. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I did not. It's been a very strange few days. There is definitely going to be some kind of re-org, and I just want to get it over with. Even more than that, I really just want to get the heck out of there. The only thing I like about that place is the people, and if they're just going to keep getting rid of the fun, then I may as well go get a job with all 50 year olds. (No offense to 50 year olds.)

Congratulations, you're fired!

Not too much else going on. No real news on the house as of recent. We're just getting our mortgage stuff all set. We'll be moving the first two weeks of August. We will be renting a truck and moving all of the big stuff on Saturday, July 31 if everything goes as planned. Park Ave Fest is the first full weekend (Aug 6, 7, & 8), which will really kind of throw a wrench into the works. For those of you who know what Park Ave Fest is all about, and how close we are to Park Ave, you know it's just a lost cause. There will be no moving that weekend. Who's in? We'll have beers, food, and heck, we'll be walking distance to the BOD, so we'll even hand out dollar bills.


Congratulations, John and Danielle!

File under: Uncategorized

Well, my friends John and Danielle, from college, finally got engaged. They sent this picture as their announcement. I replied saying that I was happy for them, but that I thought it might just be a tad soon...they've only be dating about nine years. But since they're in love...I guess I support them! Hehe.

John and Danielle's engagement photo


2004-06-20 17:05:08

File under: wedding

Hoi hoi. We just got home from a trip to Skaneateles. We killed two birds with one stone this weekend by going to our friends Marisa and Tim's wedding and celebrating Father's day at my parent's house.

Saturday afternoon we met up with Taryn, my best friend from high school, and Todd, Taryn's husband. We went to one of my very favorite restaurants, Doug's Fish Fry. We just kind of hung out and tooled around the town of Skaneateles until it was time to get ready for the wedding. The ceremony was at the Tiffany-designed Willard Chapel in Auburn. Following the ceremony was the reception at the Skaneateles Country Club (the same place Pat and I tied the knot). We had a great time. It was really nice to see some old friends and enjoy some good food and wine.

This morning, my mom and I went to church, and then we went home and started preparing the Father's day dinner. Last year on Father's day, I had one of my bridal showers, so my dad got kind of gypped out of his special day. To make up for it, I negotiated a dinner of clams and lobster tail. As you can see, it was spectacular!

Father's Day lobster dinner

I'm quite tired from lack of sleep this weekend, so I'll keep things short. Here are some pictures from Marisa and Tim's big day.

Marisa and Tim Shaaban
Taryn, Todd, and Marisa
Pat and Fran at Marisa and Tim's wedding


2004-06-16 16:31:49

File under: maynard | ruby

Here are some updated photos of our children. Who do you think is better, Maynard or Ruby?

Maynard kitty
A glamour shot of Ruby

2004-06-15 13:50:49

File under: Uncategorized

Once again, my lazy ass took a blogging sabbatical at the expense of our devoted readers. I hope you can forgive me for letting you all down and crapping the metaphorical bed. I assure you that it will never happen again. Please forgive me, blah, blah, ...

The house inspection went quite well. Fran and I were pleasantly surprised at how good of shape the house was in, considering it is over 100 years old. There were some minor things that we asked the sellers to fix/take care of and there are some things that we will have to deal with over the next few years, but the inspectors said the house was in above average condition for it’s age.

We started the mortgage application process with ESL (the most kick ass credit union eva) and it has been relatively painless so far. Our next step is the bank ordered appraisal. We should close on July 30th. I think Maynard and Ruby are going to love the extra space and Fran and I are going to be happy when the liter boxes are in the basement.

Here's another view of the kitchen

Dinning Room

Living Room

Downstairs bathroom

Upstairs bathroom

One of the bedrooms

A small room that we are going to turn into a walk in closet


2004-06-06 07:06:09

File under: wedding

I'm happy to announce that J.Lo and Marc Anthony's wedding went off without a hitch yesterday. Err, I mean, Mike and Holly's wedding...

So, after about eight years of dating, Mike and Holly finally tied the knot! The wedding and reception took place in a beautiful garden at the Strong Todd house, right near the George Eastman house. It was a very intimate and lovely ceremony. Pat and I had the honor of reading and the ceremony, which was a little scary, but I think we pulled it off alright. I'm not sure I'll ever get asked to do another reading ever again, that wasn't really what I was going for anyway.

The cocktail hour followed with champagne, caviar, raw oysters, and seared tuna, to name a few. For dinner, they had each course paired with a wine, which we thought was great. I'm not sure I can think of any more positive adjectives to describe this wedding, unless I get out a thesaurus, so I think I'll stop describing all of the specific foods and drinks and just said it was a terrific, beautiful day and I wouldn't expect anything less, for and from, Mike and Holly.

We met some really great (seriously, can someone find me a thesaurus??) people and got to know some of their other friends and family so much better. We just had the best time!

Rebecca and Fran at the cocktail hour
Holly with her sisters, Donna, Cindy, and Michelle, and her cousin, Briana
Pat and Fran looking hot as usual. Fran may or may not be naked in this picture.
Rebecca, Holly, Melissa, and Courtney on the dance floor

We have a big day ahead of us. In a couple hours, we're headed over to Mike's dad's house for the day-after-the-wedding event. Later, we're planning to get together with our friends Sean and Rachel, who we haven't seen in forever. Finally, we're going to end the weekend with the Soprano's finale. Not too shabby.