2005-05-18 11:02:22

File under: Uncategorized

Well, well, well, The Man is at it again. I have a 10-minute meeting tomorrow to find out if I am getting laid off. That's just the way we roll in corporate America. There are about 150 people in my division and 55 just gots to go. I've known about this for a month, so I am pretty well prepared. I just need to figure out what smart remark to say if I get the axe.

So far my options are:

  1. "This is bologna." I will then pull a bologna sandwich out of my pocket and eat it without saying a word for the last 9 minutes of the meeting. This comment and bologna indulgence will be accompanied with a very serious look on my face.
  2. I could try the old Jedi mind trick. "Actually, no, I'm not fired; you're fired." This creates great confusion and has saved many jobs in the past.

Does anyone have any other ideas?

-Pat



Comments

#1

This shit's bananas.

/topical humor is funny
//sorry I'm late, glad you didn't get fired

#2

How about pulling out a nice thick slice of bologna and slapping your boss in the face with it proclaiming "I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL!"

#3

That's perfect.
Using a non-Kodak product is a nice touch, too.

#4

Is this too conspicuous?

#5

Pat - If you go for number 1 (and I *strongly* suggest that you do), please make sure you've set up some sort of hidden camera in the office.

#6

In other news, that picture Pat posted of the bologna is making me want to turn vegetarian again.

It's always all about me, isn't it?

#7

aww shucks man...that sucks. if it does happen, i love the bologna idea. in other news, i just hung up my hammock in the shade of my mock orange tree, and if you end up with nothing but time on your hands, you are welcome to it!

#8

I sent this to your employer today in support of you not getting fired. So if you still have a job, it's me you should be thanking!

#9

Re: Kimmie
I hope that you have a great time during the SUMMER OF KIMMIE. That's pretty much my plan if I get the TAP.

Re: V Murder
I am still taking classes. I only have four left this year. After that, I have one full year left.

#10

Here is yet another solution. Are you still attending those classes Pat?

#11

Personally I'm leaning toward the Seinfeld-ism, being a die-hard fan and all. However, you'll get some pretty weird looks from those non-Seinfeld people if they don't understand what you're saying.

On a side note, if you do get laid off (which I hope you don't) you and I can ride the unemployment bus together! Monday the 9th was my last day. It's the SUMMER OF KIMMIE!! (minus the 5 pound block of cheese)